Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Dedicated to all the girls who read it :)
Show me your teeth
Laugh like a joker,
But show me some gesture of being happy.
Tidy up your mind.
Open your eyes,
Life is beautiful
Just give it a try!
You checked out so many guys,
You tried so many different hairstyles,
This time, check out life,
It’s an amazing brand, you’ll see!
You don’t need to go to any mall
You don’t need to dress up for it,
You don’t need to spend money,
It’s right here, just open up your heart.
Don’t let negativity compete with life,
Don’t let depression win over.
Look at the brighter side…
Get addicted to it, cause this addiction is good!
Life comes just once.
If you miss it, it’ll be gone forever.
You won’t even know when it’ll pass,
And when it does, you won’t even realize.
Live like it’s your last day.
Dream, like it’s all going to come true.
Eat chocolates like you’ve never eaten before,
And smile like you’re a superstar!
Happy New Year TO All Of You!
I hope you all have a great time and may all your dreams come true!!
Have a blast.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
You're the only thing that's on my mind.
Your lap is my pillow,
Your warmth is my sheet.
But you're not here...
So how do i sleep?
Just want to hold your hands once again.
Just want to feel your touch.
I just want to see you smile at me,
I want it all like before.
I wish the clock could have stopped ticking.
Oh! How I wish you didn't have to go.
How I wish you could come back to me again...
My heart longs to feel your warmth in me.
Come back again,
I'm incomplete without you.
You're my other half...
I can't breathe without you in here.
The times we spent,
The feelings we exchanged.
They are all so alive,
I want you here, please.
Why did you have to go?
Why did you leave me like this?
Why did you tell me you loved me...
Come back to me.
I need you so badly,
I can't rest in peace...
Till I'm in your arms again
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
My father was home only at night. He was a heavy drinker. He used to beat me up and my grandmother would lock me in the basement when I cried. I would scream for ages but there was nobody who would listen to me. The basement was so damp. To calm myself down, I would sing. Tears rolled down my cheeks while I sang. My songs gave me company.
When I turned thirteen, I got married. I packed my bags and left with my head covered. I was glad to get rid of my so-called family, but later I realized I was wrong. My mother-in-law was not less. My husband hardly spoke to me and my in-laws treated me like their slave. My husband’s name was Ranjeet but I was not allowed to address him by his name. He was six years older than me and he studied the whole day. He never spoke to me. All I was supposed to do, was keep his books away, give him food, wake him up, and in the end of the day I was supposed to give him a huge glass of milk. I even had to eat food in the same plate in which he ate. I had to eat all his leftover. Sometimes I went hungry and starved myself, but the other times, I didn’t have any option.
My husband’s house was very huge and they were very rich people. Sometimes, when I had nothing to do, I would go to the terrace and look at my husband’s books. I could not understand anything but I would link up the pictures and make some story out of them. Every time, I came up with something new. But most of the time, I would sing and watch the sky. The smell of the drying up chilies would get into my nose whenever the wind blew. One day, when I was drying the chilies, my husband came upto me. I quickly covered my head with my duppata and stood up. “Do you want something?” I asked. “No, I…I just came up. Isn’t it a beautiful morning?” He asked. “Yes. Yes it is.” I said and got back with my work. “Do you wish to go for a walk?” He asked. “I don’t know. Mummyji will get angry and I still have so much work to do.” I said. “Don’t worry about that. Let’s go.” He smiled. I was scared in the beginning because I had never seen him talking to me like this but in the end, I went.
We walked past the river and he told me about his life. He told me about how he hated the village life and it’s customs. I just listened to him and walked, nodding my head. When the wind blew, my duppata came off from my head. Before I could cover my head again, Ranjeet held my hand. “It’s okay. I don’t want you to be like the other girls.” He spoke. I blushed and looked down. We walked on, silently. Soon, we had left the village far behind. He held my hand, and I didn’t mind. “Oh, it’s late. I think we should go back.” I said suddenly. “Don’t worry.” He said. “No. You don’t understand. Your mother will kill me. Please lets hurry.” I started crying. “Fine. We’re going. Don’t cry.” He said. We ran back home.
“Where the hell were you?” My mother-in-law yelled. “I’m sorry.” I said. “Sorry? You stupid girl.” And up went her hand. I got a tight slap on my cheek. “Mum. It was not her fault.” Screamed Ranjeet. “You go and study. I knew this would happen. These small people have no manners.” Saying so, her hand went up again. “Stop crying and go to cook.” She screamed. I turned my head and went to the kitchen quietly. I didn’t eat anything the whole day. At night when I was sleeping, Ranjeet came up to me. “Here, have milk.” He said. “No, it’s for you. I don’t want it.” I said. “Look, I’m sorry for all that mess. I really am.” He said. I never knew that husbands could say sorry to their wives. “I’m used to it. My father used to beat me up too.” I said, crying. Ranjeet kept the glass down and made me sit. “Look, I’m sorry Gita. I didn’t know this would happen. Please, look at me.” He said. He held my face in his palms and looked me in the eye. I didn’t look away. He then brought his face closer to mine, and our lips touched. “I’m sorry.” He said again. “Don’t be.” I smiled. He held me in his arms and we talked.
“What do you study?” I asked. “Science. I want to become an engineer.” He said. “What’s that?” I asked. “You’ll soon know. I have a very big exam to apply for and if I get through, both of us will shift to Mumbai.” He said. “What about your parents? Will they come too?” My head was filled with questions. “No. I’ll be working and we’ll live alone.” He smiled. “That’s nice.” I said. We then fell asleep.
Things changed after that day. My in-laws were good to me and Ranjeet had become my best friend. We were best friends who would kiss. We took morning walks, and when my in-laws went out, I’d teach him to cook and he would read me to read. He was different. He loved my voice and so I would sing to him. He made me feel good.
We shifted to Mumbai when I was fifteen. Before we shifted to Mumbai, my mother-in-law told me that she wanted a grand son.
Ranjeet worked as a software engineer. We lived in a one-bedroom apartment. In the beginning, I would it all very scary. The girls around roamed about half naked and the roads were always so busy. I locked myself up in the house and waited for Ranjeet to come home. Sometimes, I would stand in front of the mirror in my inner wears and stare at my body, I realized that I didn’t look that bad with my hair open except for the bruises on my body.
One day, when Ranjeet came home, he got four big bags with him. “What is this?” I asked him. “Look.” He said. When I opened the bags, I saw pretty t-shirts, jeans and a few skirts. I was shocked. “What?” I exclaimed. “Look Gita, from now you’re going to wear this.” He said. I was confused in the beginning but then I went inside and changed. “Wow. You look beautiful.” Said Ranjeet, and kissed me. Soon, that kiss ended up with something else. Something beautiful.
After a few months, I could go out shopping on my own. The people around were nice and kind. Ranjeet soon got a higher post and I joined Spoken English classes. Life took a massive turn for me. I made friends. I felt a little weird as I was married being a teen, but things were fine. I got my waist length hair cut and got a different look.
On my eighteenth birthday, Ranjeet got home a computer. Our house was now well furnished even though it was so tiny. I never heard from my family but my in-laws often called.
When Ranjeet got a huge increment, I joined dancing and singing classes. The doctor gave me good news when I was twenty-three. Ranjeet was so happy but I was scared. I prayed to God to give me a boy child. But Ranjeet told me it didn’t matter at all.
Yes, I gave birth to a girl child. I was so scared and upset. But, I was shocked when my in-laws happily accepted my child. My in-laws stayed with us for a few weeks and then again left for Rajasthan.
We all named her Priya. I had made it clear to Ranjeet that she was going to go to school. And so, Priya went to school. I would pack her tiffin everyday and would organize her things for her. It was as if I was going to school. When Priya would be in school, I would go for my classes.
Soon, we shifted to a bigger house and life got better. I sang and danced on stage. I was there in the newspapers and people started knowing me. I got a job as a dance teacher in Priya’s school and thus, we were together.
I never knew my mother, and so I made sure that Priya got everything she wanted. I was a friend to her. Her grand parents loved her too and she was the apple of Ranjeet’s eye.
I had given up on my life long back, but…I saw light. And I believe it was my mother who carried me and made me cross the barriers of my life. I was an uneducated village girl and today I am a mother, a wife, a dancer, a singer and a strong feminist. I’ve left those bruises behind forever.
I now live a happy and peaceful life with my two best friends.
[Thanks Rohit for the title :)]
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Yes, I will dance if you ask me to dance,
Do you want me to run away with you right now?
I always cry when I see you crying,
I'll save your soul forever,
Why just tonight?
When you're around, there's nothing to tremble about.
I always laugh when you're with me.
Where should I jump off from for you?
I'll hold you in my arms forever,
Why just tonight?
You already are my Hero, baby,
You've already kissed away my pain...
Hope you'll always stand by me forever,
You can take my breath away!
I swear, that I'll always be yours.
I don't lie, I'll only be yours...
No, you haven't lost your mind,
I'll by your side
Today, tomorrow and forever
I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna hold you...
Just want you to be by my side.
You're my Hero baby,
You kiss away my pains,
You stand by me all the time,
And you're the only one, who takes my breath away...
I swear it's true!
You're my Hero forever...
[Again inspired by Hero :D]
[I saw this picture in Google. Loved it!!]
Thursday, November 26, 2009
My skin of life I have drenched with my tears.
I don't dare to look up,
I lie still in my world of heart aches and pain.
My eyes are afraid to blink,
I can't hear anyone call my name.
The door of love in my heart is locked...
It's just me with a cover of sorrow.
I lie awake in the dark,
I want to scream, but no words come out.
My lips are numb and dry with fear,
I no longer no what is happening here.
My hands are cold with blood on them.
Blade marks are all over my body
But, it all has no effect on me.
I've become so uneven to the pain
I have become all that I had dreaded, would happen to me.
I fought and got up every time life played with me.
All those aches I lived with in my heart.
I did not let go of myself,
I'm helpless, these wings of loneliness I no longer can fight...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Looking at you from a distance,
Your hands inside your jeans pocket
With a bag-pack hanging loose behind.
I hide and settle down my hair,
Then I come out to find you smiling at me.
Your messy hair falls on your face,
And slowly you slide your hands around my waist!
I've never had such a feeling,
Never felt as safe as when I am with you.
Just those three words from your mouth
Makes my heart melt...
Oh! I feel so warm and true
Those silly games we play with our fingers.
Those serious talks we have with our heads close,
Those chilling and breath taking moments we have
When our lips touch...
When I'm not with you
I feel so lost and incomplete.
Just want you to hold me close,
Just want to be with you
Friday, November 13, 2009
I really didn’t mean to hurt you mum.
I’m sorry for giving you so much trouble,
Because of me you had to suffer.
You have sacrificed so much for me.
You gave up so much for my happiness.
I’m sorry for letting you down mum.
I feel terrible for all the bad I have done.
When I’m angry,
You sit besides me for hours.
When I’m sad,
You hold me close,
Saying you understand.
When I don’t find my things,
I shout on you.
You leave whatever you are doing
And help me find my things.
You don’t watch T.V
Just cause my serial’s going to come.
You stick by and watch my teenage shows
Trying to get a clue,
Maybe you’ll get to know something about my lifestyle.
When we go shopping together,
You first let me select.
Later you shop for yourself,
Only if your choice fits your budget.
You don’t say a word
When I play the rap music you hate.
Even if your head hurts,
You pretend you like it all so that I don’t get upset.
When I’m angry on somebody and take out my anger on you,
But when you do the same,
I bang doors on your face.
You do so much for me.
You’ve given up everything to fulfill my demands.
You hide all your pain, and smile…
While your heart is rotting inside.
I know I’ve hurt you mum.
I know I’ve been so mean and selfish.
I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve been giving,
But I love you, even though I never show.
I try mum.
I’m really trying to change.
It may just take a little time,
So please don’t get upset and trust me,
I’ll be the best daughter alive.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
I stand in my balcony in the winter night.
As the wind blows, I feel cold.
But I still stand bare feet,
Feeling the chill strike me hard…
It’s so strong,
I can almost feel it deep in my heart.
It’s all dark outside.
The moon is half hidden behind a cloud.
I stare at the single star out in the sky.
While all the others are hiding,
Not showing their light.
This little thing is brave,
It’s out in the cold…
Maybe it is scared, but it’s still out
Showing some hope.
I tap my fingers as the music plays,
I hug my knees and cuddle up in the corner.
I hear the clock struck one,
But my heart shows no notion of going inside
In the warm.
I sit in the corner,
And look at that star.
My body is numb
But my heart
Wants to be a companion to that brave thing
That is out there in the cold air.
I want to be with that star,
Because I know what it is like
When you have to stand alone…
When everybody leaves you and goes into the warm.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
All my creativity, imaginations, memories and dreams I wrote on sheets of paper,
And then one day I decided to share my inner feelings.
My dad got me to join Blogspot,
And today I’m here writing my 200th post!
Blogspot is now like a home to me.
When I don’t know what to do,
I post, I read, I comment and I learn about other lives.
I love reading your feed backs,
You’re all so kind and nice.
Thanks to all of you who comment,
You really make me smile
When I’m all lost and upset,
You all treat me like a little princess
With your comments that say,
‘Are you really fourteen, girl?’
Deeps, whose wondering what’s up with my profile picture…
Chocolate lover, who I think is a girl like me…
Sulagna D, whose so very sweet to me,
Bella, a cute blogger friend,
And Uncle Jack, who really shows me hope.
I love you all so much,
Thank you for noticing me.
I freak out when I see a new follower,
If I ever be a writer,
My book’s gonna be dedicated to all of you,
(If I ever think of publishing one :D)
Thanks to Yellow Tulip, Pramoda D…
And all the others.
Hope you all keep commenting on my work,
And I hope we keep in touch!
Have a great day :)
Lots of ♥,
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Yep, thanks a lot Sawan. I'm so glad you like my blog!!! ;)
Here's my award !!! MuaaHhh!! ♥♥
Today, I'd also like to award some rocking girls I've come across on blogspot.
(Boys please don't get upset. Next time, I'll have something for you too :) )
I was doodling about in Paint and so I drew an award for some really sweet girls :)
Hope you like it :D
And, this award goes to....
Chocolate Lover- http://chocolatychocolatelover.blogspot.com/
Yellow Tulip- http://nanyellowtulip.blogspot.com/
Tara (Thanks for your regular comments even though I miss out on your blog) - http://mylittlefashionfinds.blogspot.com/
You girls rock. Thanks for your lovely comments. Love Yah!! ♥♥♥
Guys, the next post's gonna be for you :D
Sunday, October 25, 2009
And watch the stars shine.
Plug your ears
And listen to the songs you love.
Tap your feet to the tune.
Dream about everything you ever wish you could be.
Imagine and let the breeze play with your hair,
If you see a shooting star, believe…
And make a wish.
Forget the bad,
Let there be just peace…
Have faith in yourself for one night.
Make it your night.
Live it tonight.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Couldn't Make This Pik Straight. Dunno Why. Love My Bands :)
Sunny And Me :)
Drowning In Nature's Beauty...
A Walk To Remember!
Out On A Sunny Afternoon
Crazy Obsession With My Fingers :P
Bored In The Interval Of A Movie.
I Love This One :)
Sunny And Me Again..
Was experimenting with my nails :)
My T-shirt :S
My sister and my fingers ♪♫
Friends Forever :D ♥♥
That's my T-shirt print :)
T-shirt print again !! :P
I was just a little bored with posting so many poems, so I thought of posting some pictures :)
I love random photography!!
Hope you like them.
Also, A Very Happy Diwali to all you Indians :)
Take Care People!!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
You waved at me from your car window.
I ran behind you,
Till I fell down.
Whenever I passed your house,
I felt so lonely.
But I knew you'd come back
Just like you promised.
Your locker was taken.
Your bench was occupied,
I had a new lab partner
Who was so sick!
I'd go under our tree,
And look at our pictures.
So many dreams we had seen together,
And your parents just washed them away.
I watched Peter Pan all alone.
My Saturdays were so dull.
I didn't feel like going to any parties,
I just stuck to your memories.
I wrote so many mails to you.
But my inbox showed no trace of you.
I called at your granny's,
But a dead line was what I got.
Was when I was expecting you to call.
I stayed up the whole night,
But you washed away my hopes.
Your parents always said that I was bad company.
They never approved of me.
But I always loved you.
You were my best friend...
How could you let go?
Found your granny's address in mum's diary
And I knew I had to go.
When I heard about what had happened,
I couldn't even cry.
She said your family met with an accident
Before two years.
You all passed away,
Even before you could see New York.
She said you survived for a few days,
But then your condition got worst,
And left you with no option.
She also told me
That you loved me.
You told her I was your life.
And you said you were sorry for breaking your promise.
I felt as if I was dying,
When your granny took me to your grave.
I sat down besides you
And wrote you this letter...
Hoping my feelings reach you,
I love you,
And I always will.
You taught me to believe in myself,
You taught me to live.
And now I'm going to live,
To fulfill the dreams we saw,
I will be strong,
And I won't let you down,
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I've always felt this thing,
When you look into my eye...
When you smile...
When our hands touch,
I get this amazing feeling
From deep within.
I can't help turning red
When you say my name.
I want to hear you say that
Again and again.
I don't feel like blinking my eyes
When you're around.
I don't want to miss a moment
Of not seeing you.
I spend hours in front of the mirror,
Every time I meet you,
I want to look different.
I want you to say that I'm beautiful
Each and everyday.
You sweep me off the ground,
I think I'm crazy for you!
When I told my friends about how I feel,
They just teased me
And I went even more red.
Mum says it's teenage!
I don't care what this is,
All I know is,
I want to feel this way forever.
I want you to freeze.
I want you to keep saying my name.
I want to play with your hair,
I want to watch you surf in the sea.
I want you to feel the same about me.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Lifts his guitar and looks around.
Pulls the mike towards him
All the lights glowing at his face.
It sends a chill down my spine.
He smiles at me
And winks his eye.
And when the lights go dim..
And everything's quite.
'This one's for you.'
And I know what he means.
I stand as close to the stage as I can.
Even though it's dark,
I know he's looking at me when he sings.
He sings our song,
He sings Hero.
He is my Hero!
And when the song ends
The lights are bright again.
He walks up to me and carries me to the stage.
He sits on his knees and takes a ring out of his pocket.
'Can I be your Hero?' He asks
And I don't know what to say.
My heart jumps up in joy,
The crowd is invisible to me.
'Yes', I say softly
And let him slide the ring down my finger.
He holds me close in his arms
Looks deep into my eyes.
And when he touches my lips,
I really do tremble!
If you haven't heard this song, then do listen to it. It's amazing.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Didn’t believe in love, till you showed me what it’s like!
You dried my tears, made me smile.
Showed me that life is actually nice.
You held my hand
And walked with me when I was happy.
You lifted me in your arms
And made me cross the barriers of my life.
You made me believe in myself,
Took away my fear of dreaming.
Your presence is so warm,
In your arms I feel so safe and sound.
It’s so easy to be myself when I’m with you…
I leave my worries behind,
Cause being with you is the best thing I know.
When I’m sad, you sing me those funny songs of yours.
You cup my face in your hands and tell me
It’s all right. It’s okay.
When I shout on you,
You sit and listen.
And when I’m done,
You hold my hands and kiss me gently on my palm.
Sometimes, I wonder how you stick by me.
Even after I’m so mean to you.
You do so much for me,
And in return, I just holler at you.
I love thinking about you,
You make me feel so alive.
When I am with you,
It’s like a dream come true…
Thursday, September 17, 2009
We held hands
And walked on the wet sand…
His arms around my waist,
Oh! It felt so very nice.
The shine on his eyes,
When he swept me off my feet,
The warmth of his body
When he pressed against my skin.
It was all so amazing,
Felt as if I was dreaming.
We sat watching the tiny waves,
His strong arms made me feel so safe.
That smile of his,
The touch of him…
Sent a chill down my spine,
It felt as if I was floating!
And when he looked me in the eye
And gave me the kiss of my life,
I swear he took my breath away!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
I am weak,
My smile has faded.
I cannot get up easily
And hug my children,
Wishing them a good day.
My knees shake,
I need a helping hand
To get up on my feet.
I just sit here on my arm-chair
Rocking away to your memories!
Sometimes, I forget where I am.
Sometimes I don't realize I am alive.
Someone or the other has to shake me awake,
Reminding me, I'm here to stay.
My eye-sight is no longer strong
But I still keep looking at your pictures.
We were smiling in them, we were happy...
We were together in them
Sometimes, memories of that day haunts me.
And I see myself in black.
Everyone around me is in black
And I realize you're gone
And I am alone.
Today, on our anniversary.
I have nobody to take me to your grave.
Our daughter has grown,
She is away.
Our son is married
He has not called me since decades...
I wish I could get up
I want to come to you and tell you, I love you.
But I am weak, I sit still...
Closing my eyes, trying to blink my tears away.
I then feel your breath on my neck
And I hear a whisper
Calling out my name
Saying, "I love you dear
And we are forever"
It's all dark then...
I am in your arms
It feels like I'm flying.
I'm in your arms
You're taking me away.
My breath becomes calm
My heart beats in ecstasy
And I know I am coming to you
I'm sure we are going to stay
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
And I Wish I Could See You.
I Long To Be In Your Loving Arms
And Sail Through My Life With You!
Just Then A Tear Drops-
An Indication That My Dream Will Never Come True.
The Sky Will Be Blue
But My Dream Of Being With You...
I Know, Can Never Come True.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
1. My exams are from the 10th of September.
2. My attendance in class is among the lowest.
My sister actually scared me saying that I might be catching the Swine Flu. But luckily, it's just normal flu. But normal flu is bad too :(
My throat hurts and I've been coughing all night :(
And I have been studying nothing at all from like a week!!!!! That actually scares me cause exams have almost approached!
I have to take 3 tablets 3 times a day :( One is blue and the other two are white. They are so scary and I'm so scared of taking tablets. I even had to take capsules. But that dose is over. God!! I took a capsule for the 1st time in my life. I got my blood test done, and the report was normal so that's okay! Nothing to worry.
Hospitals scare me. I mean, I don't like them. My mum told me she would like it if I become a doctor. (God!!! I'll go crazy!!) Hehe!!
Well, that's it. I have to take my medicines now :(
And sorry for being so irregular!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
My heart cries a little more
It's already one,
I can't believe
At three you'll be gone.
Feels as if you just came by,
Didn't realize how time passed by,
I wanna hold you more...
Baby please don't depart
Cause I need you now.
The times we spent
Every moment we touched,
Can't believe you have to leave,
Cause it had all just begun.
September seems decades away.
How am I going to spend the whole of August?
Just waiting for you
To come and carry me away?
It's three now,
Can't stop my tears from falling,
Can't take the pain.
Can't believe you're gone.
When it had all just begun!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Rush into my veins
And sends a chill down my spine.
The times I lied
The times I cheated,
It all takes everything away from me
Leaves me numb
And scared with fear.
I feel cold,
I am all alone.
I feel more and more afraid
As those hidden memories
Play with my mind.
Play with my heart
That can take it no more...