Monday, December 26, 2011

Happy New Year :)

Another year has come to an end, and yes, I'm still here. I survived!

Life isn't easy. It never is. But then, if it was just a bed of roses, then what would we learn? What would we experience? There would be nothing!
So, as another year is now ending, I'm happy...happy because I did not give up even though the thorns pricked hard, even though I had no more tears left to shed, and even though I felt nothing many a times. I did not fall apart! I managed to put myself together. I smiled when the times were bad.
And yes, things do heal with time. I now know that very well.

A very Happy New Year to all of you! I hope you've all had a wonderful year, and I hope that the next one brings even more smiles to all of you :)
Thanks a ton for reading my work, and for inspiring me to write more.

I'll be away from blogging for a couple of time as I have my exams. Though I will try and drop in whenever possible. I hope to see you all when I return :)

Take Care till then!

Happy Blogging!

Philo x

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas :)

Bells and socks I hang,
Pretty ribbons I tie.
Handfuls of glitter I sprinkle,
Smiling angels float all around.

I look up at the tree,
Happy with all that it is c
overed in..
Cotton balls I place on it
Little gifts I keep under it's shade.

The big star I hold
There is no way I can reach the top.
I feel someone lift me up,
And I gently fix it on the top.

'Ho Ho' Says Santa.
'Don't you want a gift?'
I clap my hands
in glee
With a big grin forming on my face.

'I want to be big so that I can reach the star'

I dash off to build
When I'm tired
Santa carries me back home
Drifts me in to the land of angels and snowmen..

I look up at my tree.
It shines..
And the angels float.

I big up the big star,
Standing on my toes I fix it up.

I turn back and smile..
As Sana slowly moves towards me.

'Ho Ho..' Says he,
'What is your wish?'

'I want to be a child once again..' I say.

'You're always my child. No matter how old you grow.'
My father smiles at me..

I hold his hands gently
As I help him walk out of the house.
He sits on the porch,
As I build him a snowman.

As the clock strikes twelve,
I run up to him.

'Merry Christmas Father..'

'Merry Christmas my Child.
You've always been my star...'

We sit outside all night, watching the snow fall, listening to the distant carols..
Drowning in the gifts of our memories..

A very Merry Christmas to all of you. May you have a great time :)
A very Happy Birthday to The Guy Who Is Always Breathless :D Stay Happy Ovais :)

Merry Christmas once again :) Spread smiles!

Philo xx

Pictures from: Deviantart

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Midnight Talks With Philo :P

"He writes about sadness and adds a warm touch to it.."

Zain is a twenty year old blogger from Calcutta. I stumbled upon his blog a couple of weeks back, and I fell in love with his writing. He's an amazing writer and his writing really mesmerizes a person :) He's a very talented poet, and he's new to blog world. So I thought of talking his interview and welcoming him to Blogspot :)

Welcome Zain :) I hope you have a wonderful time here! And thank you so much for your time..

Me: Good Evening Zain :)

Zain: Good evening Miss :)

Me: So, what got you to join Blogspot?

Zain: My ex girlfriend. She has a blog. So I thought I would just head there as well and let her know how I feel but that didn't work out well. So yeah, this is how I am here.

Me: You started writing basically for her to know?

Zain: No, I started writing when I was in the 9th grade. I basically started with songs.

Me: Nice! Ever thought of singing them? =)

Zain: Yeah, I composed a few. But they were pretty amateur and later my writing took turns, into poems.

Me: That’s great. What has your journey in the blog sphere been till now?

Zain: Well to be honest, not very happening but it's been pretty decent. There are few people who show interest in my writing. People like Philo, Zeba and some other..

Me: Well, maybe if you try interacting with the others, your work can be recognized. I've noticed that you prefer staying aloof in the blog sphere. Is that true?

Zain: Well actually yes. The other reason is that I still haven't figured out completely how Blogspot works. Posting on facebook was quite simpler and friends commented and criticized. But somehow Blogspot is different. Gradually I will get a hold of it

Me: Im sure you will!

Has blogging made a difference in your life? It’s just the start, I know. But do you feel better after penning everything down?

Zain: It does, it does. It feels really good to pen my feelings down, the movie reeling in my head… To pen it down and trying to make sure that everyone sees it the way I do. So I keep my words simple and not too complicated.

Me: So, are all your work based on fiction? Or do you combine fiction with the reality?

Zain: Not all are fiction. Most of them are related to reality and my personal experiences. And very few are a combination of fiction and reality.

Me: When you received your first comment, what did you feel?

Zain: It actually felt great. I was amazed that people liked it. It all came as a surprise

Me: You'll get many more surprises

Zain: Haha! I hope so.

Me: So, what encouraged you to start writing?

Zain: Erupting emotions. A time came when there was so much to say and I wasn't confident enough to talk it out

Me: Your poems start with a sad note, and then go down a positive way. So what does it indicate? Is it how your life to turn out to be?

Or is it how you want to be with the ones who are in pain?

Zain: Well yes it does start with pain and ends with something good. No that’s not what happens in my life. But I want to put in hope inside the hearts that are weathering away with troubles.

Me: If you have to describe life in a word, what will it be?

Zain: Surprise

Me: Music to you is?

Zain: Escape from reality

Me: Love?

Zain: Honestly nothing came to my mind.

Me: Midnight?

Zain: My imaginations come alive

Me: Writing?

Zain: My expressions

Me: You?

Zain: Simple

Me: So, did you enjoy the interview?

Zain: Of course I DID. I was excited. I was really looking forward for this because I don't think I’ve ever been so respected. Yes for me, this is a form of respect. It was fun! Made my day.

Me: It’s midnight. The day has just began :P

Zain: I don't think anything can be better then this, so yeah =)

Me: Haha! End of the interview =)

Zain: it will keep me happy for the whole day

Me: Thank you for your time

Zain: Ahoy!

Thank You once again Zain. Keep writing, so that we can all keep reading your work :)
You guys can check him out here: She is a mesmerizing dream of mine

As this year is drawing to an end, follow the chain. Interview any one of your favorite bloggers. Make someone smile :)


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Naked Love.

You found me, when I pulled the covers over me.

You found me, when I didn’t want to be found.

You found me, when I was least expecting that someone would even come to me.

Tired I was, of everything. Hope, faith, trust, love…these words held no meaning for me. No longer. I wanted to get away from everything. I wanted to remain in my hiding, under the layers of solitude I wanted to stay.

I was weak. And coming out from the darkness, would do nothing but break me apart. I was already broken… How much more could I break?

I was afraid, scared and I felt that by hiding I could be safe. I thought that by running away from things, they would get buried soon, and I would not have to face them ever again.

But, you found me.

You gave me your hand

I was scared to hold it in the beginning. Thought that maybe you would let go, and I would fall and hurt myself again.

But no, you forced me to come forward. And when I did, you held on tight and pulled me away from the covers under which I hid. You lifted me out… You got me to face the mess I had created.

I was devastated. You brought forward the things I never wanted to think about again. You snapped me out from my world and got me back to the reality, to the things I was scared to face.

I wasn’t ready. I could not stand. I would fall, all the time. But you picked me up, held on to me when I was trembling. You wiped my tears. You stood by me… You gave me the courage I needed. You didn’t leave me alone.

It was difficult. I was not easy to handle, I know. Yet, you did not give up on me. You were patient and kind. You loved me. You made me love myself.

You gave me the hope I had stopped believing in. You gave me the faith I had lost. You made me feel my heart against yours. You made me feel safe, when I was so scared…

You gave me a reason to be happy once again.

You are my strength. You are my weakness. You are my miracle! You are the one who found me, unfolded me and loved me even when I shed all my masks and stood naked infront of you..

Sunday, December 18, 2011

A New Start..

I close my eyes and make a wish. I then blow the candles off the cake..

When I was a kid, I believed in birthday wishes. I thought they would all come true someday.

But even on my eighteenth birthday, I did close my eyes and make a wish. Hoping that it will come true someday. Hoping that I can make it come true one day.

It keeps us going. Right? When we lose hope, we lose faith. We lose everything.

When we are young, we believe in birthday wishes, in tooth fairies and in Santa Clause.
But as we grow up, we realise that these things don't exist in the real world. But we never stop hoping, right? It helps us in keeping up with the shit our lives give us.

So, as I closed my eyes, I made a wish. Hoping that it does come true :)
I blew off the candles of the past, and made a new start. A new beginning of the eighteenth year of my life..

Yes, I turned eighteen yesterday, though I still feel like a six year old :)
And two of my friends gave me the best gift of my life. Thanks a ton to both of you!
You can check them out here :)

Rahul :)

Thursday, December 15, 2011

You Sang To Me

The songs still remind me of you.
When I listen to them, I think of you.
And when I sing along, I remember you singing them to me.
They used to be our lullaby. They were our songs. Do you remember?

Your arms were my castle. You sang to me.. making me feel safe. I could lie with you forever.. I wanted to. But you?

You sang promises to me. Fake ones.. Behind your comforting voice were nothing but lies. You disguised yourself in front of me, and I drifted away with the songs you filled me up with.
I was a fool. I believed you.
I was a fool. I gave in to you.
And I was a fool because I closed myself within your songs. You built fake walls for me, and I engulfed myself within them.

You broke them when the time came. You left, leaving me to pick up the broken pieces. And as I try to re build the castle, I listen to the songs you used to sing to me. And you are all I think about.
I was a fool to love you. I'm still a fool because I still love you, even though you sang nothing but fake promises to me.

I still hold on to them. They are still my lullaby, while you're singing them to someone else now..

"I'm Yours"- The Script.
The first song you sang to me. You were never mine. That was your first lie.

Monday, December 12, 2011


Red lips.
Clicking heels.
Shimmering skirt,
Hip clinging.
Deep cut,
Hanging low..
Bare shoulders,
Lacy straps.
Long locks,
Shining brown.
Flawless skin
Perfect curves.
Confident moves,
Head high.

When you walk,
All eyes turn to you!

Red eyes.
Pale skin.
Lying in the corner.
Smoke around,
Inhaling deep..
Ecstasy you find,
Comfort you plea.
In the dark hours of the night.

And then you hide
Behind the covers you smear your face with!

Picture: Google :D

Friday, December 9, 2011

Cupcake Love (Final Part) :)

I don't wale up until late noon. I make my way to the washroom.
I pass through Mike's room. He's home. The door is slightly ajar. There is someone else with him.
Yes. There is someone else in there with him.
That someone else is kissing my brother. Oh yes!
And that someone is a GUY! Yes, you heard me correct!
And that guy, who is kissing my brother, is Luke!! Oh Man, oh Man! Tell me it's a dream please.

I keep staring at them, and I can't believe it.
Mike unbuttoning Luke's shirt.
Luke blushing.
Mike and Luke disappearing under a blanket.

I rub my eyes. I pinch myself. I can't believe what all just happened!

I sit down with a tray of cupcakes.
I hear Mike and Luke laugh. They run down the stairs.
"Hey Maria!" Luke smiles.
"Hi! Where are you guys off to?" I ask.
"Soccer! Wanna cheer?" Mike sneers.

I smile as I watch them go out.
"Hey Luke!" I call out to him. "There's a sale in the town. They have amazing stuff. Wanna go later?"
"Sure. I'll pick you up!" My Greek God waves at me, and runs off behind Mike.

I bite into my cupcake.
I've always wanted a gay friend. At least I got one. Plus I got to kiss the guy of my dreams. =)

Life is funny, I tell you! :)

With this I come to end of another story :)
I'll be back soon with another one :)

Thanks to all of you for reading! :)

Philo :)

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Cupcake Love :) (part 3)

"I've got popcorn, beer plus the best thrillers!"
"If my mum gets to know that you've got me drinking, you are gonna be so dead!"

I'm the kind of girl who gets high even with two glasses of beer. But then, at least the drink would calm me down.
So we sit, and watch a total chick movie. I guess he agrees to watch it cause I picked it!

We sit close to each other on the couch. Our thighs touching, his shoulders occasionally bumping against mine. The beer had started having its effect on me, and I soon started to feel dizzy.
And before long, my head dropped in to Luke's arms and I snuggled in to him and fell asleep.

"Maria! Maria!" Luke tickles me and wakes me up.
My head feels heavy. Luke smiles at me. I keep looking at him while he holds on to my gaze.
I slowly put my hands around his neck. Lifting myself closer to him, I close my eyes and kiss him. I keep my lips on his, waiting for him to respond. But nothing happens.
After a while, I open my eyes and move away.

"Why didn't you kiss me back?" I ask.
"Well..why would I Maria?" Luke looks confused.
"Cause..Because I've always liked you, and you like me too. Don't you?" I can't believe that I've made such a big fool out of myself!
"No Maria. I'm sorry..but I've never seen you as more than a friend." Luke comes closer to me and holds me in his arms. I snuggle into him. "Why not?" I ask. "I..I just don't. I'm sorry." He runs his hands through my hair, and I drift off to sleep..

When I wake up in the morning, Luke is gone. The place is cleared. I check my cell for messages.
Mike was on his way. My parents would not come back until tomorrow.
I grab a bar of chocolate and again hit the bed. I had no plans of being awake..
Coming next: Final part :)
Picture: Google =D

Monday, December 5, 2011

Cupcake Love :) (part 2)

Yes, he is the guy I've been crushing over since the past two years! He is all over my mind. He gives me tingles in my tummy. And he makes me go weak on my knees.
Positive side: He's my brother's best friend. So he's always around.
Negative side: He's my 'BROTHER'S' best friend. My brother who always treats me like a baby!

Mike is just two years older than I am. But, he treats me like a six year old even though I'm sixteen! But Luke didn't do that. He's always there when I need someone to talk to. He took me out to the movies and bought me gifts.
Jessie says that these are all signs. She thinks he likes me back. But I don't know. He's never told me.. Why would he not tell me? Maybe cause I'm Mike's sister..?

: It's been freaking two years girl! Maybe he's just scared. Stop being nervous and just make the move stupid!
Maria: I can't. What if he does not respond?
JessieJ: At least you'll get to know if he likes you back or not.
Maria: have a point. Let's see.

Luke: How's it going? :)
Maria: Nothing really. Just bored.
Luke: Oh right.. Everyone's at your granny's place, yea?
Maria: Yup. And I ain't got anything to do :(
Luke: Want me to come over? We can watch movies! :)
Maria: Ok. Cool :)

-Luke_149 has signed out-
-Maria_cupcake has signed out-

Cool? Did I seriously say that? No ways. I'm nervous! Did I actually ask him to come over? No I didn't. He himself made the proposal! But then, why did I agree? Cause I like him, right? No. Not like. I'm truly, madly and deeply in love with him!

Okay.. I need to calm down. It's going to be fine.
Deep breaths.
..The doorbell rings!

(to be continued)
Picture: Google

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Cupcake Love :) (Part 1)

Luke: Hey!
Maria: Oh hi! Back from the trip?
Luke: Yup! Finally.
Maria: So found any hot Aussie for yourself? :P
Luke: Nah.. Had better things to do :)
Anyways, I'm coming over to your place in a while.
Maria: Ok cool. I'll see you then,
Luke: Yea, let Mike know :)
Maria: Sure!

-Luke_149 has signed out-

Maria: He's coming over. And I have a pimple on my cheek :(
JessieJ: He who? Your lukey is back? :P
Maria: Yes he is. Finally :) Now what do I do about the pimple? :(
JessieJ: Burst it with toothpaste :) Good luck :D
Maria: As if it would help! :|

-Maria.cupcake has signed out-
I slam my laptop shut and sigh. Why does he never notice me..

In the end, I squeeze some paste and burst the red light from my cheek. Okay, Jessie was correct. The pimple did settle down. At least for the time being!
The bell rings downstairs, and I run to open the door. I pull my shirt a little low and open the door.
He looks like a Greek God and I just can't take my eyes of him.

"Hey" He says.
"Hi there. Come in."
"So, how have you been girl?" He pulls me into a tight squeeze. I try to push myself towards his chest, hoping that he would realize that I have grown. But instead, he slaps my butt and legs go off me!

"Ouch. That hurt!" I squeak.
"That's what too much of chocolates do!" He grins and takes off for Josh's room.

I hear he door close, and storm into the kitchen.
A cupcake was what I required.
-Mission failed. Once again.-
(to be cont..)