Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Echoing Breaths


I've never been so tired. I've never felt as lonely as I do right now. I didn't think that I would want to give up. But today, I cannot recognize myself. I can't face anything. And nor can I run. I'm trapped within myself, and no matter how hard I try, there is no escape.

The house echoes. It reflects the loneliness that surrounds me. It understands the pain that I carry. I sit and stare at the empty space that has wrapped me within it. I sit and stare. That is the only thing I do, and I don't even know why. There is nothing around me, and yet I feel trapped. The emptiness gradually starts to suffocate me. It's in my blood, in my heart and it makes my breath heavy. 
The echo is my only companion and my shadow is the only moving thing around.
The stars sing to me every night while the moon light tries to comfort me. The sun is the only warmth I get. But none of this makes any difference. I'm cold, frozen, and nothing helps. 
My eyes are desperate for someone known. My heart is tired, and I can no longer breathe alone. I just want someone to hold me and get me out of this place. 
I keep looking out of the window. The doors are all open, but nobody ever walks in. 
I don't blink. I keep looking out, letting the tears flow. My nails dig into my skin and when I can't handle it any more, I scream and run out. My body feels heavy as it moves. My throat pains and my head spins. But I don't stop. I run till I can. I just want to get away. I finally drop to the ground, feeling dead. Am I dead?
But on waking up, I find myself back to the same place. I am trapped. The echoes are back. I can never be free, nobody can ever find me. My shadow continues to cling to me. 

I breathe alone, while my heart sighs.