Friday, September 30, 2011


"If life gives us black and white..
Echo it back with a beautiful melody!"


I lift the lid, and look down at the keys.
Black and white-
The blacks above the whites. Just the way my life has become.

I press a key. The sound echos. It feels hollow. I feel empty..

Pulling the seat out from under the piano, I sit on it.
Taking a deep breath, I press some more keys. They feel unfamiliar, but it is something I once knew. Something I once loved doing..

"Playing a melody. Creating music."

The keys are dusty. The piano is old and untouched. As I play, I can see my fingerprints staying back.
I run my fingers through all the keys at a go. The dust blows and the prints are no longer seen.
I gently try to adjust to the blacks and the whites.

I try playing a new melody..
A new music, a new beginning with the same old chords!

And,
As the sounds echo, they fill me up, making me finally smile..
.....

Got exams coming up, so won't be on the blog sphere for a while!
You guys take care till then :)
I'll be back after a while! :)

xx

Thursday, September 29, 2011


Bruised lips.
Touched body.

Lost innocence.
Wounded love..

Monday, September 26, 2011

Moonlight Kiss.. Dec '05 (Part 3)





"So, how does it feel to be back here?"
"Like having to go down memory lane..all alone"
"You have to let go Michael."
"I can't.." I say, and walk away from my sister.

The beach is deserted. People are still scared. It's been exactly an year since the horrifying calamity had struck.
An year without Jenna.

I left after the tsunami. i couldn't bear looking at the waves that had pulled her in, that had destroyed 'us'.
But today, I had to come back. I wanted to face the power of the water, however calm it may seem to look.

I walk along the beach. The sun is setting in the horizon. There's silence all around, and the cold is setting in.
The clouds darken. It is going to rain.
My head hangs low, and I don't stop the tears from flowing..

The moonlight makes the sand glow.
And my eyes catch hold of a purple gem.

My hands tremble as I pick it up the ring. I wipe the sand off it, and I feel the engraved words with my fingers.
I know it is hers, but I cannot believe t.

I fall down on my knees and kiss the ring.

There is a thunder , and it pours down.
Closing my eyes, my hands tightly grip the ring.

"Our love was more powerful Jenna..It still is."

The wind blows, and the moon hides behind the clouds..

.........

Entered this story for the competition being held by Tay Tay.
http://rawrseries.blogspot.com


Hope you all enjoyed the read :)
Take Care!

Love,

Philo.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Moonlight Kiss. Jan 'o5 (Part 2)



"Come, lets go in. It's cold outside."
"I'm fine here.." I say.

My mother slides her fingers through mine, and sits down besides me.
We both weep as we sit and watch the sea from a distance.

We watch the powerful waves go up and down.. It does not remain still at all.
Yes, I watch the powerful waves. The waves in front of which even my love was helpless..

The night passes, but I remain there.
- On the footsteps of my porch, hoping for her to return.
Cursing the sea for drowning my love..

Thousands died.
Many lives were lost. And she was one of them.
The Tsunami took her away from me, and her body was not yet found.
People have given up hope, because many more were missing.
Everyone lost something or the other in the Tsunami. And I lost the person I was going to spend my life with..

I broke the promise of never letting her drown..

(Cont..)

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Moonlight Kiss.. December '04. Part 1


"Michael! I'll drown. Put me down.."
"Till I'm there, you actually think I'll let you?"
"The water is more powerful than you are!"
"There is nothing more powerful than my love for you.."

I squeal as I'm thrown into the water. It pulls me in.
It is fierce and strong. I cannot swim.. As I struggle to hold him, I feel his arms around me. He lifts me up and smiles.

"Are you crazy! I could have died!" I snap.
"Crazy? Yes, I am for you. And I want us to die in each others arms."

Our eyes meet..and he holds my hands. His grip is tight, stopping me from tripping over.

"Will you marry me?" He asks.

The sun sets in the distance, and the colours reflect upon him.
Every line of his face is clearly visible, and his eyes look intense and deep. I move closer. My eyes are fixed on his.

"Yes I will.." I softly say.

He envelopes me in his arms, and as our lips meet, he slides a ring down my finger.

The sun sets, and we feel the rain bless us.
He lifts me up, and twirls me around..

"Are you scared?" He asks..
"You think?"
"We'll see!"

He smiles and throws me into the water. The saltiness mixes with the taste of his lips.
I float..and the ring on my finger shines under the moonlight.
I am not scared. I know he will stay.

"I love you." He whispers, and wraps his arms around me.
I cuddle into him, and breathe into his chest.
He takes the cold away.. He makes me feel safe.

(Cont..)

Monday, September 19, 2011


Fragile I am
I melt in your arms..

You lift me up,
You make me strong..

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Losing Myself..Finding Me!



I didn’t know what I wanted in my life. I still don’t!
Just like every normal teenager, I was lost in the maze of my dreams.
I was confused in the mixture of my character that was a combination of what I actually was, what I wanted to be like and what people wanted me to be like.
Every one goes through a phase like this, and so did I.

And in the process of my change, I lost the real me.

I forgot who I really was. Most importantly, I forgot how to love the real me!

I had divided myself into three parts.

I was living three lives at a go and they were all bonded by nothing but ‘lies’.

My friends and the guys who made me feel like a princess became my soul companions.

I wanted to fit in, and so I tried to become everything they considered cool.

Listening to cool music, not caring about any thing in the world, sitting in cafes and smoking away! I was just so engrossed in wanting people to like me, that I applied everything they told me to myself! A part of me wanted to stop everything that I was doing, but I couldn’t…because a part of me was scared of rejection. I was what others wanted me to be.

Social networking addiction soon got into me. And, I realized that chat sites were a place where I could be whoever I wanted to, and the way I wanted myself to be. I created my own new identity and I was living a life where I was the way I wanted to be. Perfect, sophisticated and cool.

Soon my grades started slipping and my family started getting worried. They tried talking to me, but I pushed them away saying that I was fine.

A part of me wanted to let go off everything I was up to. I wanted to talk to someone. I was fed up of everything I was doing and I just wanted to rub it all off me. A new beginning I longed to seek.

Sometimes, at night, I would just wonder about who I really was and why was my life so jumbled up. I was so frustrated with my life, that at a point I wanted to give up.

With the help of a few genuine friends, I then decided to shed all the masks I was wearing for so long and be just the way I feel like being. With a lot of effort, I let go of the negativity that was building a hole in me and was suffocating me.

My first heartbreak soon followed when I started doing what my heart told me to. My family and my ‘true’ friends were my shoulders to cry on.

In my process of finding me, I have realized that lying is going to take me to nowhere. And, that there are very few people who actually love us for who we are. It’s better to stick to the ones who accept us just the way we are, rather than pretending to be someone we are not.

In this maze of life, it is very easy to get lost. But, it’s very difficult to get back to being who we really are.

I haven’t yet found myself. But, I have shed my masks. I have let go of the fears I lived with. I have people who love me just the way I am. And, most importantly, I am happy because I am alive! :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Our hearts, Our love..


Your anger, my fear.
My tears, your heart ache..
Our pain,
Waiting for it to end.

My eyes, your sorrow,
My cries, your love.
Your anger, fading..
Your hands, reaching out to hold mine.

My heart, crumpling,
Your arms - My castle
Pulling me close,

I lie there..
Letting your warmth
Ease our pain.

Our eyes, locked onto each others,
My tears, you wipe.
To you, I cling..
The fragile me,
You hold tight.

Your love, my heart.
My heart, you love.

Our journey together..
Will never end!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Aura.. Guest Entry by Rose :)


I guess all of you have read my 'Aura series'. If not, you may like to take a glimpse at it :)

Well, here is other guest entry done by Rose :)
You can check her out at http://thecarnelianrose.blogspot.com/

To begin with, Rose, I think you've done a great work :) I loved it.. (You know it :p)

Here it goes.. :) Hope you all like it as much as I did!

It's a continuation from after the two of them part ways..

All those sayings ultimately proved to be right. Happiness cannot last forever. Had it been a fallacy of my beliefs – always fearing that the spell would be broken even as I lay in her arms seeking solace?

I don’t think I could ever forget the painful look in her eyes. However, it did not speak of longing...

It spoke of remorse.

Things were often left unsaid between us, even when it came to bidding each other goodbye. And yet, aspersions were cast. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that my love – a woman of will and resolve with an unquestionable strength of character – would quietly give in to following the tradition.

I hated myself for questioning her integrity.

It had been a tumultuous time – days of silent mourning and nights of frightful crying – a time she must have been blissfully unaware of. Much as I couldn’t bring myself to dislike her, I was unrelenting in flogging myself, utterly disappointed as to how I didn’t trust my love for her enough to keep her from leaving.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into years…I was still unmarried, despite having reached the prime age for it. Make no mistake: I did not lose faith in the institution itself. It was just so that years of watching others suffer the same way, albeit within the confines of matrimony was enough to disillusion anyone.

The wounds had healed…or at least, to my eyes they did. Little did I know that pulling the scab off them was all it would take to make the wounds bleed again.

…I bumped into her on the street, of a city neither of us was associated with. Why was she here, in the first place?

More importantly, why was I here, to begin with?

There was no time to answer unbidden questions – it was but natural that we stepped aside from our busy lives to catch up. A trip down the memory lane was warranted, after all.

…The band on her left ring finger told me all that I needed to know. Yet it served to enclose me further in an infinite circle of anguish. How foolish…I still loved her.

She raised her eyes to look into mine. Always demure and yet defiant; the valour had been replaced with a certain sense of diffidence. What had they done to her?

Her hand trembled as she reached out to hold mine. “I wish I could say I was happy.”

The days of joyous abandon and ecstatic carousing were firmly behind us. The harsh realities of life stared us in the face.

She had a more difficult life that I did. Her marriage was breaking apart.

Looking away, she whispered, “I should have known better.”

“You didn’t trust me. I wasn’t good enough.” I was surprised at how bitter it sounded.

“I can’t even say that you were younger, can I now?” she laughed, equally bitter.

My fears were confirmed. I finally knew for what I had suffered all along. I wasn’t entitled to stay.

She caught my hand as I made to leave. “Don’t. Stay. Please, for my sake.”

I sighed, “What do you want me to do?”

“Forgive me.”

I finally mustered the will to face her. She stood there, still – beautiful, fragile…vulnerable. Her charm and appeal seemed even more ephemeral. Where was the mystical lady who had lured me into seeming eternity?

I caressed her face lightly. Leaning in to kiss her on the cheek, I murmured in her ear, “We cannot turn back time.”

…Fate had dealt me a cruel blow by making me so ruthless. I still remember the weight of each step I took away from the place where I had so callously cast aside such fervent ardour. My first love…

......

Friday, September 9, 2011


Broken I am,
I cannot breathe.
How can I live,
When you have sucked the life out of me..
Tattered I lie,
Betrayed I feel.
Numbness all around,
My tears fail to seize..

Faith-
Hope-
I trusted you..
But you,
You cut through me,
And left me.

I gave you all you wanted,
Lived my life as you pleased..
You made me feel worthless,
You sucked everything I was meant to be.

Lifeless I feel,
No voice left in me..
I want to get up,
I long to regain my strength.

But,
Broken I am,
Tattered I lie..
I cannot breathe,
How do I survive?

Next post: Aura(Guest entry) by Rose :)

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Aura.. Guest Entry (Risha)


Here's the guest entry done by Risha :)
Check her out at http://melodicscribbles.blogspot.com/

By now,
She drew me in , and I never resisted back.
Her smile was like sunshine brightening my days and enameling my nights, even more!

By now,
Life was no more a barren land, as she blossomed it with her enchanting essence,
I wanted her, just her and no one else, and I was lucky 'coz she was mine, just mine and no one else's,
I asked her, "Princess, Will you marry me?" and she painted the color of love on my white sky,
Saying, "Anytime Sweetheart"
And By now,
We were no longer apart, not strangers anymore, we were right there, living together,
In each other's very soul, we found a place of our own!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Aura.. (Part 5)

I felt my heart break for the first time that day..

And now, I realize that, the feelings I had and I have for her, is of love.
She is gone now. Far away.. And all that I have of her is her memories.. Her sweet perfume, her deep eyes that bid me goodbye and said that she would never forget me.
She was my first. She was the first one to touch my heart, and my soul..
And to break them..
..........

I keep my phone aside..close my book and drift away..letting her laughter make its way to my soul...


So, this is it guys. The end of my story :)
I know many of you wanted a happy ending. So, anyone who would like to make a guest entry, continuing the story and making it a happy ending, are welcome :)

My next post is going to be a guest entry done by Risha who wanted a happy ending really badly :P

Take Care!
xx

Aura.. (part 4)


And then...
I realized that I had to let go of her.. I realized that she could never belong to me.

She was getting married and she had to leave. I knew she was happy, but I knew that she was sorry. She had never expressed what she felt for me, but I knew that a part of her always wanted to be with me. And now, she was sorry for having to let go. Her eyes spoke to me, and I, understood what she felt.
I felt her soft hands for the last time. I felt her lips brush against mine, and I felt her smell leave, as I watched her fade away from me..

She let go of me, before I could understand my feelings for her...

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Aura..(Part 3)

But there was something different about the way I felt. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to guard her..
Watching her sleep, her body pressed against mine, her innocence took my breath away.
And, I was scared.
Scared for her.. Scared of hurting her.

I could never understand what she wanted from me. Sometimes, she was so gentle, loving. And sometimes, she would push me away and tell me to forget that something even existed between us!
But, I coped up with it all. She was always on my mind. She always lingered around..
She was a mystery, and I wanted to solve her. I wanted to please her. Wanted to understand her. The weeks turned into months..and as time passed, I needed her even more.