Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Caressed (Part 1)

Picture from deviantart.com

My heart skips a beat when you come close to me, and when you put your arms around me, I can’t breathe. I just want to stay that way, not wanting to let go off you. 
But you leave… You let go off my hands, and turn away from me. You leave me scared. My mind goes blank. My heart-empty. 


‘Kate wake up! George is back’ my sister screams into my ears and tugs at me to get up from the bed. For once I don’t mind cause it was George I was going to see. 
‘That boy is some sight, don’t you think so?’ I say, peeping from my window. 
What a way to start my morning! What a beautiful way.
‘Oh, you’ll get a better view of him tonight. Father has already invited him over for the bonfire’ 
‘I see.’ I smile and draw the curtains.

‘Come on Kate. You can’t run away from me all the time.” George pants as he finally catches up with me. 
‘Someone as fit as you should not be huffing so easily. Where is your stamina gone now, huh?” I turn towards him and start walking backwards, throwing stones at him.
‘You know you can’t resist me. Why don’t you just give up, girl?’ He starts moving towards me once again.
“Wh..” I trip before I could complete my sentence and before long George was bent over me, his strong arms held me firmly, and his lips almost touched mine. 
“Try this with some other girl Sir.” I snap, and push him off me. “Tomorrow, I’ll be gone Kate. You might not get me again.” He calls after me, as I run away once again.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Path to Nothing

Picture from: deviantart.com

I wake up in the middle of the night. I’m sweating, panting. I’m scared. 
It will pass. 
Yes, the moment will go away. It was just another nightmare. 

I close my eyes and sit on my bed, waiting for my mind to calm down. But nothing happens. 
Gulping the pill that always lay on my side table, I close my eyes again. The medicine is supposed to relax me, it is meant to put me off to sleep. But no, it does not help. 
I pop in one more. No effect.
With my eyes open, my head hurts and everything around is black. 
With them closed, I see a monster. It chases me. I run. I yell. I scream but I can’t escape.

Lights on.
Lights off.
I switch on the lights again.
I’m still awake and still scared to close my eyes. Getting off my bed, I light a cigarette and lie down in my balcony. It’s cold. The smoke warms me. The nightlight burns my eyes, but I don’t blink. 

It’s all blur now. The stars hit my eyes and then disappear. My eyelids feel heavy as they slowly drop. Exhaling the last puff, my breath slows them. My body feels light. My soul-calm.

And then,
I see a girl running. A monster chases her. The girl yells. The monster catches her. 
I am the girl, and the monster is me. 

I run from myself. I’ve become someone I fail to recognize. My sides…they float when I’m asleep. 

The pills, the whiskey, the cigars.
Nothing helps. I have to face the person I have become. The masks I have to shed.

I want to move, but I can’t. I scream, but nobody can hear. The evil has caught hold of me. It crushes me, and turns me into nothing but smoke. I’m blur and hollow. 
It pricks, and then I feel nothing.
I float in emptiness. 

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I hide
Yet you come find me.
 I run
And you come catch me.
 I say nothing,
But you listen to my silence.
I'm scared,
Yet you give me the courage to love you.

I tremble,
And you hold me.
When I'm shattered,
You fix me.
When I sit alone,
You become my shoulder
You comfort me.

My walls you break,
My heart you enter..
In you
I find myself.
With you
I leave everything behind.
Every moment
You make beautiful.