Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Lovers And Sinners (Part 1: KIA)


*KIA

From the corner of the class, I sit and look at them. His strongly built shoulders, his short blonde hair, and his arms wrapped around a girl.. A girl who looks just like I do.
She has the same brown eyes, the same slim structure, the same light skin, and the same features. The same origin, the same blood.
Yet, she has something that I've always longed for. She is my sister, my twin, my other half. And, she is with the boy I've always dreamt about.
.........................
Serena and I have always been alike. We ought to be, cause we are twins. But, our similarities are so intense, that sometimes, even our friends tend to get confused! And we enjoy the show!
But, Peter managed to do us apart.
Initially, he too got confused. In fact, he got more confused than the others. But then, he managed to slowly reach Serena's soul, and he started to recognize her from the glitter in her eyes, the longing in her lips and the smell of her perfume. The closer he got to her, the more difficult it became for me to see it all..
The pain was unbearable, the frustration and the jealously ate me up from within.
What did she have that I didn't? What did I lack in? What made her perfect for him..and what made him turn away from me?
.........................
(cont..)

Picture courtesy: Google
Coming next: (Kia: Final part)



21 comments:

  1. OMG! Twin sisters? Were you inspired by Venus and Serena by any chance? Though they ain't twins lol

    Waaiting for more

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  2. It is an absorbing write up and look forward to what follows.. Well done !

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  3. Those burning feelings are expressed in the most natural way

    Good post

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  4. Oooh la la...keep writing.. this is WOW :D ..

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  5. is this fiction? or real?

    if its your story, then my god ...i cant begin to imagine the situation you find yourself in ...attracted to the same guy your sister is & the guy totally smitten by her
    the green-eyed monster would have devoured me alive in a scene like this

    whenz the next part coming?

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  6. goooooooooooood beginning...:-)

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  7. i think its fiction..;)

    good start.. keep it up..look forward.

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  8. and may be that's y they say, love is blind.. heart speaks ..;)

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  9. oo i can def see this being really hard on twins...yikes...cant wait to see where this goes...nice opening...

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  10. wow... that got me hooked up.. i am w8in for the rest.... :)

    good work sis...

    take care
    niya

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  11. Interesting and engaging start! :)

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  12. Ah! this is soomething new!!!!!! Lovely!
    reminded me of a song by JAGJIT SING starring riya sen...twins in thr too.

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  13. @ Crystal: Haha no. I wasn't inspired by them :)

    @ Rahul: Thank you :)

    @ Valli: Glad you liked it!

    @ Confused Soul: *smiles* Thanks :D

    @ Sujhata: It is fiction :) I'll be posting the next part soon.

    @ Rahul : Thank Youuu =)

    @ Being Pramoda: Yes it is fiction :) Love is indeed blind!

    @ Niya: Thank you so much :) Glad you're liking it!

    @ Raj: Thank you :) Do come by again!

    @ Red: I don't know about that song :) Thank you for the comment :)

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  14. @ Brain: Well, love just comes. One can't help it, yea? :)

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  15. ahh..! this- was- a- super- vodka- shot- like- intense- little- part- which- made- me- want- for- more-
    so the conclusion is
    its AWESOME ... final part ke liye em waiting :)

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  16. wow, awesum post Philo... on various counts-
    1. the premise of the twins n the sister's beau
    2. the way he was the most confused with the similarities n then how he touched her soul.
    3. how ur character felt thru all this.
    4. the way u managed to say sooo much in so few lines...

    Absolutely brilliant, Philo!!

    Respect!!

    \m/

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  17. its very interesting... lookin forward to where it goes :)

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  18. nice start!
    Bring us more twists and turns :D

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  19. @ Suvaiba: Thank you thank you and thank you so much :)

    @ Raj: Glad you liked so many things :) thank you for the visit :)

    @ Jyoti: Thank you :)

    @ Richa: It definitely has a lot of turns :D

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  20. pyaar, aur takraar :D
    nice built up!

    aJ

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Your words mean a lot :)