Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I stared at my laptop's screen saver and memories started to flow in my mind. Oh! I remember that picture. Susan clicked it on her birthday. I was wearing the black dress Danny got me. We look so happy. Danny was holding me tightly ans well, I felt so loved that day. Felt so me...unlike today. Wish happiness could be still. Every lasting.
As the picture changed, my eyes filled up with tears. I wanted to look away from the screen, but something keeps my eyes fixed on that picture. I keep staring at those eyes that could only see me once. No longer. I'm the past of those eyes. Those beautiful green eyes. They carried me once! Only me. It's funny how things change.
A cool breeze blows and dries up my tears while the next picture approaches. Susan and me. Best friends forever. She's always been there for me. Whenever I needed her, she was always there. The day Danny told me that it was all over, she was there besides me. And I knew that at a time like this when I was feeling so lonely, she was the only one who could make me feel better.
On Saturdays, Susan normally did baby-sitting. Her parents would be out till late nights and well, Susan didn't mind looking after her younger sister. After all she got paid! I picked up my cell phone and punched in her number. It was switched off. Maybe she was studying for the big Math test that was coming up. Unlike me, she studies. I tried her land line number but there was no reply. "Pick up!! Please." I said, and redialed.
"Hello." Susan said. She sounded like she had been laughing for a long time.
"Hey. What's up?" I asked.
"Ah, nothing really. Just you know, waiting for mum and dad." She said. I could hear someone laugh from behind. It kinda made me uncomfortable.
"Whose with you?" I asked.
"Just Laura and me." She replied. There was something in her voice that made me feel that she was lying.
"Umm. I was just feeling really low. I miss him Susan. I really do." I said and before long, I started crying.
"Babes, just chill. Danny was a jerk. You deserve better boys. Honestly." She said.
I didn't reply. Just cried.
"You just called me a jerk? Shhh...lower your volume." I figured out what was wrong. I recognized that voice very well. I...I was shocked. Whom where they fooling? Shit! I went all numb. I couldn't believe it was happening with me,
"Are you still there, Becky?" Asked Susan. She went all quite. She knew I knew.
"It's Danny, right?" I screamed.
"I...I wanted to tell you. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to..." Before she could say anything further, I hung up.
Never felt so betrayed in my entire life. My laptop's screen saver was changing. I could see those pictures. Those fake memories. I slammed the screen shut and closed my eyes. I laughed at the fool I knew. I laughed at myself. Soon, I was screaming. Screaming my head out. I pulled my hair and cried. And then. It all went blank. I felt dead. It was all black.
I could hear voices around me. I could feel a loving hand patting my head. I slowly open my eyes and find my mother besides me. The mother whom I thought never cared for me. "It's okay baby. I'm there." She says and smiles at me. I hug her and bury my head into her lap and cry. It feels a little normal to find that somebody cares....