Solace..

Running away..
That is what I've always been doing. Running from every possible thing, from everyone who try to come close to me, to love me.
Solace.
I find comfort in the dark..the only place I rest in. Hiding under the covers that bind me, that dig into my skin..leaving me in a condition to not feel again. I feel numb. The dark is where I dwell. It gives me the courage to run again.
What is it that I'm scared of though?
That a gentle touch may bruise me.. That the warmth may burn me.. That the love will turn into hatred one day, and that I will lie hurt, in a position to not run again.
I'm afraid to face the reality. I suppress my heart from beating out loud. Scared to be held, but deep down I long to be loved.
Lying under the covers and crying my heart out..and when I wake up, I cannot face who I see in the mirror. 


I turn and run. 


Deep down, I just run from the person I am. Afraid I am, to love myself..
It's only in the dark, when my shadow lets me rest in peace.
.....


Yes I'm back. Finally =) Hope you've all been good! 
And thanks a ton Rahul for the lovely post that left me smiling! :D

Comments

  1. I can relate to this even I am running away from very serious thing.
    Glad to see you back :).

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  2. Hope this is a fiction..
    Welcome back :)

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  3. Running away is inevitable and the first thing 'we' especially girls always do when situation like this, I can relate with your emotions.. And I'm so glad seeing you back now.. :) Muaaaahhhhh!!:)

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  4. Need not run away anymore , Juhi! Welcome back :)

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  5. welcome back! i think that some times we do get scared of being hurt...of being real...of being accepted....it is easier to live in those shadows but it is terribly lonely...

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  6. we are all self-protective at some point

    welcome back

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  7. Dear lord, I could have written this myself! Or at least, it seems like the many incomplete drabbles I wrote in a similar vein.

    Feels good to be back, right? :)

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  8. Welcome back dear.. Missed u.. U came back with the bang..:D Nice post:)

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  9. at some point of time u gotta sit back n face the situation.. we all feel like running from odds, its in our nature.
    very strong expressions !!

    Welcome Back :)

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  10. You don't even want to know how similar my state is. You run away from yourself, think you can suceed in becoming somebody else, put up a smart facade, but it isn't really possible. Because we're better off being ourselves :)
    Great post .. loved the start here!

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  11. Welcome back.. Brilliant words to express reasons of embracing solitude.. ! Loved it !

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  12. Lovely words and lines to describe the state of solitude.I could identify completely with your words!

    Its my first time here.And i am liking it already! Following you right away!

    My world, my thoughts, my musings...

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  13. amazingly written n expressed wid lots of honest words n feelings :) keep writing :)

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  14. I run away all the time. I wish I had a remedy :/ ..And hey you're back...welcome :D

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  15. Philo,

    Nice to see you back. How did the examinations go? I am sure Very Well. A good composition showing what a person who is unsure of self feels.

    Take care

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  16. Hey, how have you been? You have an award on my blog :) Take care

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  17. Glad you're back! Hope things are fine with you.. :)

    And well well, this post is superb! Hope its a fiction!

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  18. Scared to be held, but deep down I long to be loved.
    Loved the above words..
    Happens to me too often!
    then all that i need is to run away from rest of the world around me too.

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  19. There's comfort in sitting in the rain too :)

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  20. finally i am back too..!

    :)
    how have you been?
    well i agree with crsytal , i am on the treading the same path but i guess i will dig a new trench and move out soon.
    Fear , insecurity , accept that LOVE and be ready for that TIME when it will vanish right before your eyes is TOUGH or id rather say is TOUGHEST , it is UNEXPECTED and UNCERTAIN that is the beauty of it. so don't run , maybe just walk because someone can catch up with you that way. :)

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  21. Lovely as always...Welcome back...:))))

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  22. Good to see you back. Was reading a few of the previous posts. It made me feel different!

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  23. Beautiful Darling.... but lemme tell you one thing, never stop loving yourself.. fall in love with yourself and it will be fab!

    take care
    niya

    niya101.blogspot.com
    ramblingofaretard.blogspot.com

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  24. now this is well written..penned it well Phil :)cheers

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  25. I can relate completely to this post Juhi...touching one...Beautifully penned...
    "I'm afraid to face the reality. I suppress my heart from beating out loud. Scared to be held, but deep down I long to be loved."
    These lines are just awesome!

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  26. Hi! Welcome back!!!
    Well, i too feel like running from myself... nice one.. was totally able to relate...
    Every line is just too good!

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  27. uv enjoyed ur fair bit of Solace.. n u were missed..
    glad ur back.. :)

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