A LeTtEr To DaD

Letter To Dad
A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished tosee the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then hesawan envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope andread the letter with trembling hands:-
Dear Dad,It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Jacob because Iwanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Jacob and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. Butit's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Jacob said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even thoughJacob is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days isit?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the wayofour relationship, don't you agree?Jacob has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his ownway. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of mydreams too.Jacob taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all thecocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science willfind a cure for AIDS so Jacob can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old nowand I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.Your loving daughter,Diana.At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!

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