“I don’t wanna hurt him anymore, I don’t wanna take away his life... I don’t wanna be a murderer.” I lie on the crumpled bed sheet, alone. Naked. I close my eyes, tighten my fist, and try to stop the guilt from growing, from eating me up. It wasn’t the first time. I should have been accustomed to all of this by now, but no I’m not. I don’t think I ever will…yet I continue to do so, and yet I lie in his arms, and crave for him when he’s not around. The pictures appear in my mind. Flash backs. They always do after he leaves. And I always try to shut them from my mind. But it’s next to impossible. No, I don’t love him. I already have a lover, and he? He already has a family. It’s just the craving, the desperation, and the intense longing of being loved. He caresses me, he’s firm, strong, and I easily melt inside him. When he’s besides me, he is all I see. I don’t think about anything else. The world just seems beautiful when we lie next to each other, exhausted. And then, he leaves...
lovely words...I walked down memory lane :D
ReplyDeleteNice words, but I'd suggest, don't dwell in them too much. Hallucinations do happen, and so do mirages.
ReplyDeleteThey hurt more.
:)
Blasphemous Aesthete
such thoughts at 15...i didn't even know how to construct a sentence at that age and here you are pennin down deep poems.
ReplyDeleteNice!!
jenny, listen to blasphemous aesthete. hes right!
ReplyDeleteand yeah good stuff that :P
amazzing!!
ReplyDeletei love this!!
btw check out dis blog..
workingwidwonders.blogspot.com
she is of our school :)
Nice poem <3
ReplyDeleteWhen everything's swept...we are left with memories
what a beautiful words. love this post. ;D
ReplyDelete