Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Echoing Breaths

weheartit.com

I've never been so tired. I've never felt as lonely as I do right now. I didn't think that I would want to give up. But today, I cannot recognize myself. I can't face anything. And nor can I run. I'm trapped within myself, and no matter how hard I try, there is no escape.

The house echoes. It reflects the loneliness that surrounds me. It understands the pain that I carry. I sit and stare at the empty space that has wrapped me within it. I sit and stare. That is the only thing I do, and I don't even know why. There is nothing around me, and yet I feel trapped. The emptiness gradually starts to suffocate me. It's in my blood, in my heart and it makes my breath heavy. 
The echo is my only companion and my shadow is the only moving thing around.
The stars sing to me every night while the moon light tries to comfort me. The sun is the only warmth I get. But none of this makes any difference. I'm cold, frozen, and nothing helps. 
My eyes are desperate for someone known. My heart is tired, and I can no longer breathe alone. I just want someone to hold me and get me out of this place. 
I keep looking out of the window. The doors are all open, but nobody ever walks in. 
I don't blink. I keep looking out, letting the tears flow. My nails dig into my skin and when I can't handle it any more, I scream and run out. My body feels heavy as it moves. My throat pains and my head spins. But I don't stop. I run till I can. I just want to get away. I finally drop to the ground, feeling dead. Am I dead?
But on waking up, I find myself back to the same place. I am trapped. The echoes are back. I can never be free, nobody can ever find me. My shadow continues to cling to me. 

I breathe alone, while my heart sighs. 

27 comments:

  1. Why so much desolation after surfacing after a long time, Juhi? Is it just writing or reality? Take care:)

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  2. That was hauntingly beautiful. When the sun is the only warmth you feel, and it doesn't really help at all, you are in quite a personal hell.

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  3. nothin lasts forever.......
    let it go....this too shall pass...

    :-)
    love
    anu

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  4. hey! great to see you!!!!!! smiles...

    this is so full of emotion...and love how you make the surroundings take on the mood as well...it does just that.....

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  5. take a deep breath and relax....this shall too pass, Insha Allah.

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  6. There has always been a phase in our life when we feel bouts of loneliness, and it scares to the core -its the same time when we know who is who, who we are. God bless :)

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  7. These phases are important as it will allow us to understand ourselves and make us a better person, eventually.

    Destination Infinity

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  8. this is beautiful...i felt like you were writing about me... coz this is pretty much how I feel now... well done girl! :)

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  9. Wow, your writing is so intense and beautiful...I can echo some of these sentiments too hun

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  10. Feels like poetry within prose...Loved the you portrayed the feelings of depression and loneliness...Beautiful writing!

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  11. We all have to go through times like these, but let me assure you that this, too, will pass.

    Smile :-)

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  12. Hope you feel better sharing here... loneliness is a way realizing self :)

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  13. Teenage is the time where you will either be too busy or too lonely. Dont worry, you will surely pass by this time and have a good times ahead.

    Updated my blog. Please visit and spread it:)

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  14. Nice to see you after a while ~

    This has a haunting and lonely voice, full of shadows ~

    Hope you find your light and peace ~ Have a great week ~

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  15. Thank you for your visit, hope your week has been a good one!

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  16. So much beauty in your words. And their deep meanings.. Sigh.

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  17. Wonderful story!
    Its great to have you back!

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  18. wonder expression of feelings n emotions.. lovely work juhi..
    Nice to hav u back!
    think this will help.. pls read this:

    http://tonightidream-iwander.blogspot.in/2012/11/re-birth.html

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  19. Philo,

    I am glad to see you back and that too with a heart touching post. Hope it is totally fiction.

    Take care

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  20. Sigh. This is beautifully heart wrenching.

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  21. I've been in that room. I've danced with loneliness too.

    +To Me It Matters+

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  22. Loneliness is a part of us. We dance to its tune, we move with its wind, we fall back with its shock. Hold on dear girl, hold on. Sunshine will burst in, fresh air will flow in and carry you out.

    Hold on

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  23. don't worry just keep ur head high n don't let loneliness effect you n olws remembr everything in life happenz fr a reason :)smile swwets

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  24. Everyone has his and downs...when we are young...we let very keenly..because we hadn't seen much life yet..

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  25. you dont breathe alone my friend , you breathe with the universe...

    cheer up ... always there for you kiddo.

    tc and have a nice day ...
    rainboy

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Your words mean a lot :)